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Dr. Artra's Most Recent Articles 

Dear Brave StepMom,

I too am a stepparent and I write in the stepfamily field. I get it. A rare woman enjoys the intense complexity and uncertainty of stepfamily life. This journey asks the best of us, every day. I am constantly discovering strengths and areas that need support in my own coping, even though I have already broken through the debilitating shame and blame game. The challenge will be true for the rest of my journey as a stepmom. The fact is that this simply is too steep a learning curve to do on our own. My commitment to you is to ensure that you receive caring support with specialized expert guidance, because together we are on this very important Path of raising ourselves and this world's future generation. 

"I feel encouraged now. I know I am not alone. 

There are solutions." C.T.

"This has been life changing!" A.P.

I teach empowered action. The Steps who get the most value are people who are already taking action, such as seeing a counselor, a doctor, or engaging in a self-development practice. I have found that successful Steps are either highly motivated to decrease their own suffering, or to prevent it. They feel "done" with the old way and are looking for a new way. They are now ready to learn and then maintain the actions that are proven to radically improve their role in stepfamily dynamics and their personal wellbeing. They are ready and willing to design their lives, to focus on what they can do rather than on what they want everyone else to do. This is the turning point. 

I respect the natural process of personal transformation. We all make change at our own pace. I do not attempt to convince a Step to make an effort. If you are ready to take action, I offer expert insight, caring support, and mastery teaching so the efforts you do make can be fruitful. 

This is not counseling or coaching. It is keenly targeted consultation. You get answers that you can use right away, ideally with the support of your counselor or other guidance professional so you can release blocks and have emotional support to maximize your use of the tricks of the stepmom trade.

This approach is for Stepmoms who want to:

• Cope more effectively with stress and the challenges of stepfamily life
  
• Respond to disturbing household events more gracefully
  
• Feel more alive in the present moment
  

While expert consultation is not a "cure" for serious mental health conditions and should not be used as a substitute for licensed mental health treatment, research indicates that stepfamily skills training can have a significant positive impact on stress, relationships, and decision making. Successful stepfamily adjustment requires skills training.

In two 90-minute sessions, I provide targeted consultation to address difficult stepfamily dynamics. Between the sessions, you engage in a 15-minute activity once daily. Your experience of the activity informs my recommendations. Upon completing the consultation process, you will have a personalized action plan that you can carry out at your own pace. You will have a more complete understanding of the skills necessary to help your stepfamily and yourself thrive.   

3 days that transform your life with other caring stepmoms. Plenty of time to make new friends, unburden yourself and practice new skills. Nothing is more powerful than the support of caring women who understand and are there for each other. It is a necessary luxury to have the time to spread out in our minds and hearts to really get to the core of what we are feeling, wanting, and capable of so we can transform our lives.

This retreat is scheduled upon request by stepmoms, retreat centers, leadership institutes, and others. These retreats are delicious, fun, safe, heartwarming, hopeful, creative, breakthrough opportunities. I am joined by other trained stepfamily counselors and practitioners.

Would you like to request or know when a retreat is happening? We would love to hear from you. Let us know by using the Contact Us page. 

You may have noticed that stepfamily dynamics can create a crucible: a powerfully transformative experience that alters our sense of who we are. This experience reveals our values and expectations, first as we fight to have them validated and realized, then as we loosen our grip and act in new ways. 

You have probably noticed that the state of shock and overwhelm so common for stepmothers temporarily shuts down our higher mental functioning. Tears, shutting down or shouting, begging, ill health, and other symptoms are clues that our psychological pattern is not adapted to the situation. Responding well requires that we come out of shock and hone our ability to make good judgments about what is actually happening, then respond strategically rather than reactively. 

In this process of mastering our stepfamily responses, we greatly enlarge our capacity for noticing, which helps us discover what has been holding us back in life in general, then we have the self-knowledge it takes to expand our possibilities. That is the process and the gift of stepfamily adjustment, in a nut shell. I am here to help you navigate. 

The Steps who succeed are those who bravely face challenges in ways that free up their most powerful potentials to lead happier lives within in and outside of their stepfamilies.